I've got to stop feeling sorry for myself. He is going out again tonight. I don't care. I don't need him (at least I'm trying to convince myself of that). So what that I was actually going to try to let him back in. I thought he wanted to try, but he doesn't. Fuck it. I'll just go to bed early and catch up on my beauty sleep.

Tomorrow we go to Retrouvaille. I hope it makes some impact on him. If not, I'll learn to take care of myself. I'll figure out a way to support myself, keep busy, and not be lonely. I can't continue to be sad all the time. He doesn't really love me, so be it.