After Scott and I talked last night, I got into the bathtub. I heard him in the office typing. He seemed to be typing a lot. Stupidly, I set myself up for disappointment. I thought maybe he was typing me that love letter I've been asking him for. I got out of the tub and got in bed, expecting at any minute, he would bring it to me and my eyes would fill with tears of joy. He came downstairs to tell me he was leaving to go out. He said he was working on an application for financing for the lighting business. I watched TV to avoid feeling sad. I knew it was silly to have set myself up that way.
Still, I hoped... I hoped he would cuddle in bed with me once he got home. I woke up at 4 am when Jaden came to get in my bed. Adi had already made her way into my bed. Scott wasn't there. I walked upstairs to find him asleep on the couch. I still can't believe this is happening. It hurts so much that he can't or won't give to me the love I desperately want from him. I am looking forward to this weekend, mainly because I know he is going to be forced to spend time with me all weekend. He will have to sleep in bed with me in the hotel room.
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