I am spending time with my friends, Anna and James. Scott is home with the kids. He seems resentful that I'm here, but I didn't think he wanted to come. He still seems to have a chip on his shoulder about James since he was trying to talk Julie out of seeing him. He looked upset when I was leaving, saying I just went out last night. It's true I left for a little less than 2 hours to go with my friend to Putter's, where her boyfriend was DJing.

Apparently he is so in love with her again since he thought he lost her. It's funny that he use to say she wouldn't leave him alone, but he was the one who couldn't leave her alone. Scott says he wouldn't come after me if I left him. I guess we'd be done then because I wouldn't leave unless I was sure I was done trying to make things work. It would take a lot of work if he wanted me back. I don't think he would come after me even if he wanted me back.

I am frustrated because I want to go back to school and get another Masters degree, but Scott doesn't want me to. I want to be a clinical sexologist and see people struggling with their sexuality. Scott says it's not worth it. I guess he means that I wouldn't make enough money at the end. I only really wanted to have a part time career. My primary job is raising my children. However, I need a career for when I'm done with that or if I need to support myself.

I guess the primary focus right now should be on making money so we can pay our bills. I just applied for food stamps. I've never been on government assistance and it's kind of humiliating. I really don't like answering all the questions they will ask about our lives. Scott seems unwilling to put much effort to finding a job. He keeps hoping Luminance business will pick up or one of his websites makes money. He is acting angry at me for not working. I really think he would feel more inadequate with me working. Plus, I'd have a difficult time finding a job where I only work weekends. I would do a bartending job, but I don't think Scott would want me talking and flirting with guys for money. I doubt I can get a job as a nurse in my field with my charges and I'd need seniority to get a weekend option.

Well, I guess I should make my way home in the snow. I don't want to leave because I know I won't see my friends for a while. This place has been the one place I could always come when things at home got really bad.