Minimal Effort

Sometimes I feel like Scott has so little interest in putting forth effort into making our relationship better. He would much rather spend his time on something else than doing communication exercises with me. The thing is that communication is in my list of top five values. I need it from him to feel satisfied with my relationship. His desired form of communication is sex, especially if his dick is in my mouth so I can't speak.

Tonight we had a dialogue question that asked what is something about the way we were raised we said we'd never do. Then, how does that impact our reaction to each other. He told me there was nothing he could think of his parents did wrong. I made suggestions of examples of things he told me he didn't like about his upbringing. He ended up writing about one time when his mom was mad and said she would give him up for adoption. He said he felt rejected and that's why he doesn't like it when I reject him.

I was really kind of pissed off. His parents and I are very different. I don't want to have the superficial relationship they have with their children. I would never raise my kids with guilt surrounding sex. I would never raise my kids Catholic. Scott told me he would send the kids to a Catholic school if he had the money. Also, he said he would give the kids a hard time if he caught them masturbating. Huh?!

We got into a little bit of an argument. Scott said he doesn't like doing the dialogue questions because it drains him. I told him then I guess we'll just stop and we can stop going to Retrouvaille. He obviously doesn't want to do it. He complains about going. He doesn't feel like doing the dialogue questions. He absolutely hates anything involving self discovery. He isn't really even interested in learning more about me.

I'm just really frustrated again. He decided not to go out with me tonight like we planned, so I came to Fox and Hound by myself. Normally, I might call up a guy at this point. I guess I'll refrain.